


The Relationship Implementation

by clumsyghost



Category: Big Bang Theory
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M, Point of View
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-21
Updated: 2011-03-21
Packaged: 2017-10-17 04:45:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/173038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clumsyghost/pseuds/clumsyghost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sheldon won’t stop talking. Leonard has to take drastic measures. Cliches abound.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Kiss Catalyst

**Author's Note:**

> Leonard's point of view.
> 
> This was my very first TBBT fic.

Sheldon Cooper is nothing if intense. Over the years as I have readjusted my life around my fanatical roommate, I’ve come to recognize and understand his four main facial expressions. The one he has on now is his Physicist Face, which he wears about sixty percent of the time. His brows were constricted above glowing eyes as he chattered on excitedly about the topic of the day. This flushed façade often evolved into the Arrogant Face (thirty-two percent of the time) if anyone dared to question him or say something he deemed stupid, which was basically every time someone else opened their mouth. The last two faces I had seen progressively more often lately: the carefully blank expression he put on when Howard said something that scared him, and finally the Shocked slash Awkward look, usually formed when Penny challenged Laundry Night or when he was put into a social situation that he was not familiar with.

“So, if we take in account that Wien’s formula is considerably flawed if we placed the medium in a vacuum, and that no thermal radiation, or black body radiation, if you will, will take place unless the density approaches absolute zero, Planck’s law is no longer valid!”

He’s been in my office for the past thirty-five minutes; enough time for me to calculate the speed of his mouth. (432.7 words a minute in case you were wondering). Never mind the fact that maybe I would like to work without the verbal constant motion that is Sheldon’s thought process. I wonder if his brain still processes information at warp speed when he’s asleep. Scientifically, it depends on if one is in REM state N2, but Sheldon is no ordinary homo sapiens, as he frequently likes to point out. I’m sure mother would be absolutely fricken delighted to give him a brain scan at her earliest convenience.

My face must have reflected some of the disgust produced by that last thought, because Sheldon pauses momentarily, giving me an odd look. I categorize it as a byproduct of the Blank Face, since he usually wears that when he genuinely doesn’t know how to react. It doesn’t last, though, and Sheldon picks up where he left off, plowing through two hundred years of research with gustso only an insane supervillan can manage. I sigh, but he takes no notice.

Another fifteen minutes pass before I reach my breaking point. We don’t spend 24/7 with each other, but pretty damn close. That’s a lot of time to spend with anybody, let alone with the bundle of ego and idiosyncrasies that is Sheldon Cooper. So I did what any other sane physicist would do when trapped in their own office by an insane supervillian-physicist: I leaned over the desk and kissed him.

Let it be noted that it’s hard to kiss someone who’s still talking. His lips quiver underneath mine, but I could hear the wheels in Sheldon’s mind derailing faster than the St. Louis train Number 4. But that’s ok; Sheldon likes trains. I have no idea how he’s reacting; my eyes are shut too tightly to allow any 400 – 700 nm wavelengths through, let alone for me to see if Sheldon’s optics are closed or doing a deer-in-the-headlights imitation. I do feel him tense, but at least the noise has stopped. Taking advantage of this occasion, I lessen the pressure of the chaste kiss, gently nibbling on his frozen lower lip.

After a moment, we, meaning I, break for air, and I started to sit back down. Unfortunately for me, either I was too drugged from the taste of Sheldon to pay attention to where I was going or the force of my abrupt standing repulsed the chair backwards exponentially. Both explanations reached the same conclusion, and I stumbled and fell flat on my ass.

“Shit! Owwww…,” I couldn’t help the whine that escaped from my mouth. Crap crap crap! Where were my glasses?

“Leonard?” came the hesitant reply. The way he says my name is different-- a nice change over hearing it pronounced dripping with condensation or in that whiny indignant pitch. Too bad I was the one whining now. At least we balance each other out.

“Leonarrrrrd, I don’t think our conversation warranted that response. Was that even normal social protocol?” Sheldon continues, ignoring my curses as I finally locate my displaced optics. Sheldon understands more about the world than he lets on. He doesn’t always know the proper reaction to take in social situations, but he is far less innocent than one might think. Even so, he was twitching uncomfortably, his words carrying all the child-like innocence that existed within him.

“Ehehe, you were talking and thinking too much, and I was trying to keep your neurons from overheating. And you know…radiation...that’s hot,” I babbled. Oh dear god, what was I saying? I finally got the chair upright and successfully navigated my ass into it. “Anyway, I’ve got to get back to work, can you pleeaaaase go think in your own office?”

“You’re dismissing me?” Sheldon’s voice increased in pitch, sounding halfway in-between indignant and relieved. It’s amazing that no matter how often I throw him out, he always seems surprised.

“Fine! I’ll go. But if I change the course of physics, you’ll be the last to know,” he sniffs, nervously running the tip of his tongue over the lip had I assaulted. His twitching has calmed down from ‘epileptic blender’ to ‘jittery goldfish’.

“Thanks for the heads up…I’ll see you when it’s time to go home, alright?” Impatience was creeping in my voice unrestrained, and Sheldon’s flight instincts kick in. He shuffles towards the door, but glances back before he crosses the threshold.

“Leonard?”

“……yes, Sheldon?”

“Would you have taken the same methods to keep Wolowitz or Koothrappli’s neurons from overheating?” Supervillian!Sheldon was back to collect the facts. Neither rain, snow, nor intimate human contact could prevent him from overanalyzing everything. Of course, we don’t really get snow here in this part of California, but, wait…what was the question?

“Nope. I would’ve thrown something at them. Something heavy. Then donated the bodies to Kripke for wobot fodder.” I smile, and he really does flee this time.

Experimental physicist: 1  
Theoretical physicist. 0


	2. Caring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard and Sheldon eventually deal with the aftermath of the kiss.

It was going to be an awkward ride home. The first clue appeared when I went to go tell Sheldon it was time to leave. He was standing by his door, rummaging around in his bag, and gave me a fake look of surprise when I rounded the corner. Unless a new comic book is coming out, I normally have to drag Sheldon away from work. Whining and insisting that we’ll miss Halo night never works, because he’s scheduled them late enough so he can take his own sweet time putting away his thoughts, papers, and miniature dinosaurs in his desk.

The second clue was the total silence that enveloped us as we walked to the car. I tried to make small talk, but everyone knows how much Sheldon despises chit-chat, and things pretty much fell as flat as a zero degree angle.

Which brings us up to the current time, exactly 5:17 and by my estimate, twenty-four seconds past.

“Sorry I’m late!” A breathless Koothrappli slid into the backseat, leaning over to slam the car door shut. “We had a meeting, and some of them are still bitter about Pluto…”

I wince in sympathy and glance up in the rearview mirror as we shifted into drive and merged into traffic. “No one threw erasers again, did they?”

“No, but someone thought it would be a good idea to bring rock samples…”

Chuckling, I dare to steal a glance at Sheldon, waiting for him to lecture Koothrappli on the logic that excluded Pluto as a planet, although the man already knows. Apparently, Raj was expecting the same, because after a few minutes of silence, he reached out a hand to poke the back of the passenger’s seat.

“Sheldon? Are you sick?”

“Maybe you should ask Leonard!” Sheldon’s voice is sullen and immediate.

Involuntarily, my grip on the steering wheel tightens. Confused but willing to play along, Raj leaned forwards. “Okaay…Leonard, is Sheldon sick? And why is that old lady giving us that look?” he continued, watching a blue-haired elderly lady hurry across the crosswalk.

“No Sheldon, you are not sick, and you’re not going to get sick,” I reply, concentrating on relaxing my face so I don’t look like I’m about to murder kittens. _Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of shit._

Finally the stream of pedestrians cease, and we’re able to maneuver back into traffic. As we inched along, I prayed the whole time that Sheldon wouldn’t comment further, and that Raj would keep his curiosity to himself. Thankfully, after being around Sheldon for a while, you just get used to unexplainable oddities, or at least develop a resistance for asking. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier to see Raj’s apartment building. By the way Raj scrambled out the door, I think he had the same sentiment. The temperature in the car was colder than the Vostok Station in Antarctica, and I wasn’t talking about the air conditioning.

Now it was just the two of us. Great. I shift the car back into drive, glad we only had twelve miles to go.

“Want to stop for a burger?” I blurt out. The silence was killing me, and I was beginning to think that a public place might be safer. If we go back to the apartment, Sheldon might kill me, or worse.

He turns towards to me, giving me a Look that clearly communicated that I had something stupid. Here we go…

“No, I do not want to stop for a burger. It’s not supper time. You know what time supper is, Leonard. Or is this another lame attempt to hit on Penny?”

“I was thinking…um..take out,” I mutter. So much for that plan. And why did he have to bring up Penny?

Once we arrived to our designated parking space, Sheldon barely waits for me to turn the engine off before he jumps out of the car. To his credit, he is waiting inside the apartment door, and glares as if it’s my fault he ran ahead.

Was it my imagination or was the stairway smaller? We take them in silence, predictably. Sheldon practically plasters himself to the opposite side of the stairway, but it doesn’t do much good. The architectures that built this apartment must have cared less whether they violated health codes or personal space issues.

Our door looms in front of us, and I fumble with the keys. Sheldon heaves an impatient sigh and plucks them out of my hand. The brief contact as he yanks the keys away was surprising, but not unwelcome. Man, Sheldon was all over the place. Then again, I guess I couldn’t blame him. It’s not every day Dr. Sheldon Cooper gets kissed.

“Can we talk?” I venture after removing my shoulder bag and letting it fall to the floor with a loud _thunk_. Sheldon tenses and stares pointedly at the bag. He hates me leaving my stuff in the middle of the floor. He doesn’t get that I do it on purpose. Small revenge is small.

“Can we talk? We’ve been able to linguistically communicate since we evolved from Neanderthals, Leonard. In fact, by verbally asking ‘can we talk’ you essentially just answered your own question, a rather dumb one at that.” He stares at me, the Arrogant Face firmly in place.

“Riight…Um, ok. May we talk about what happened earlier?”

“It’s scientifically possible, yes.”

“Sheldon!”

He knows better than to push me any further. I can read the defiance in his eyes, but he backs down, staring at something over my head.

“Fine. I’ve certainly been aware that you haven’t found any suitable mates lately, thanks to your constant gripping. Giving our close living arrangements, I suppose it’s convenient that we sleep together. I don’t know what the point is though, seeing as neither of us are biology equipped to expel an offspring out a womb.”

“WHAT?!” It takes a nanosecond for Sheldon’s words to sink in. He seems unfazed by my sudden shaking, although he does take a step back after glancing at my clenched fists.

“Oh, Leonard, surely you’re aware that we have homogenous reproductive systems?” he asks after a moment of silence, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some….research to do.”

He escapes faster than Flash, and I’m left staring at empty air.

Why is it that Sheldon can love without ever understanding what love is? He claims to be repulsed by social behavior, but he clings to other people when he’s sick and vulnerable. He’s never affectionate, and always insults his friends, but he puts up with us, and seems to enjoy our company. Sheldon clearly loves his memaw, and obeys his mother. His family means a lot to him, although he does not always get along with them.

So why was it so hard for him to understand the love that other people have towards each other and him? The kicker is that I don’t know how to make him realize how much people care about him. There is almost little or no reasoning with Sheldon , even if you attempt the impossibility that is turning emotions into equations that he can comprehend.

Deciding to give Sheldon some space for the time being, I carefully slunk to my room. The whole apartment was practically vibrating with his trepidation and silence, and I knew he could hear me as I moved passed his door. Once behind the safety of the bedroom door, it didn’t take me long to locate my trusty iPod, pressing the ear buds into my lobes and pulling up the playlist. Sheldon’s voice echoed in my mind, hearing that incredulous tone. _Again with the emo music, Leonard?_

You just don’t get it, Shelly.

\-------------------------

In the end, although the music helped to take some of the edge of my panic, I still had no clue as to what I was going to say to Sheldon. Sometimes the best approach was to jump in; if I could get Sheldon talking to me, then maybe the situation would improve. I certainly didn’t think it could get any _worse_.

  
After the third straight play through of every remotely emo song I had, I knew it was time to face, well, the music. Sheldon’s door was still shut when I ventured out to see where he was.

“Sheldon?” I call out hopefully. Silence, but no protests as I slowly crack open the door. Peering in, my sight was quickly drawn to the curled form on the bed. “Hey…can I come in?” Sheldon didn’t verbally respond, but he shifted slightly. Making my way over to the bed, I noticed the cell phone clutched in his hand.

“My sister called. She’s engaged.” Sheldon states flatly, eyes staring up at me. They look strangely…wounded. “Apparently I’m an insensitive bastard,” he continues.

Carefully sitting down beside him, I could only wonder what Sheldon had said to Missy.

“Assuming the current divorce rates remain stagnant, I’ll have at least three years to meet her fiancé,” Sheldon explained, “Of course, Missy insists that I meet him before the wedding. There’s no reasoning with that girl.”

“Maybe it’s a test to see if he can survive being related to you,” I suggest. Sheldon gives me a withering look. I sigh.

“C’mon, Sheldon. She’s your sister! You should want to meet her fiancé. And there’s no error on her part, Sheldon.” Sheldon sits up, eyes narrowed. Oh boy, here we go.

“It’s about caring, ok? You should show Missy that you care about her by being interested in her life. You don’t want your sister marrying some abusive jerk, do you?” Sheldon looked surprised, and I feel bad for the apprehensive expression that passes his face. “You know your mother and memaw wouldn’t allow that,” I add quickly, trying to get his mind off that topic.

“It probably hurt her feelings that you didn’t want to meet the guy that she’s in love with,” I said gently. He turns his head slightly, mulling that over. Eventually he lets out an exasperated sigh, and I know he’s given in to the idea. “Social behavior and relationships are too complicated. There’s no set pattern,” he grumbles.

“Yeah,” I replied softly, “I know.”

Sheldon glances at me then, and I can see that he’s remembering our previous dispute. “Caring,” I remind him soothingly. “You have to know that people love you, in spite of your flaws and even your strengths.” He opens his mouth to object, but nothing comes out as I lean forward.

Sheldon knew what was coming this time, and I feel his eyelashes flutter shut as I pressed my lips against his. It’s still a chaste kiss, but I take in the taste of him, happy to have pressure being applied back. An attempt to deepen the kiss fails; Sheldon squirms under me and turns his head. I’m not about to pressure him, so I go for his jawbone instead, nibbling and licking my way to his ear, then down his throat.

“Leonard…” Sheldon groans softly, so softly I almost didn’t hear my name. Smirking to myself, I run the tip of my finger slowly down his still-clothed chest, feeling his breath catch as I reached the hem of his shirt. Sheldon didn’t protest as my hand rose slowly underneath his shirts, my fingers lightly brushing over bare skin. His azure eyes were wide, though, and staring at me with intensity usually reserved for trying to blow up my brain. I hope that’s not what he’s trying to do.

“You alright?” I ask, wincing as Sheldon gives a series of sharp nods. In spite of his gestures, it was clear that he wasn’t. I withdraw my hands from underneath his shirts, pulling the fabric back down over his soft skin. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push you.”

Confusion clouds Sheldon’s eyes as he tilts his head. “But, Leonard…I thought you wanted…this.” I couldn’t help but smile at him then. “Of course I do. I can tell you don’t yet, though. You’re a pain to live with when you’re forced into something you don’t like, so I’m going to leave you alone,” I tease. Naturally, the humor goes over Sheldon’s head, and he looks put off. I roll my eyes at him. “Bazinga that last part, ok?”

“Leonard?” he asks after shifting out from under me, “One of the factors in…relationships appear to be acts that show…that you care about your partner, correct?” I nod. He gets a gleam in his eye, and suddenly I wonder if I can handle Sheldon when he knows dangerous information. Not that physics isn’t dangerous information, but coupled with relationship advice?

“Given that you obviously want a relationship with me and your past record of doing anything your love-interest wants you to, I’m going to go ahead and purchase two tickets on the next train to Texas.” He has the nerve to look smug as he reaches for his cell phone. But I guess I can’t blame him. It’s not every day Dr. Cooper figures out social parameters and gains the upper hand.

oh…… _Ye-haw_.


	3. The Covalent Bond Concealment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sheldon and Leonard hide their relationship from the Cooper family. There are no snakes on a plane, but there is sex on a train.

In the end, I managed to convince Sheldon to put off visiting until a later date. He still bought the train tickets that night, but at least his family had a little more time to prepare for our visit. Missy forgave Sheldon for his comments, his memaw was ecstatic that he was coming home, and I got stuck shopping for bridal gifts with my neurotic friend slash tentative boyfriend. One would think that having a bridal registry list would make life simpler, but that’s only if it does not fall into the hands of two clueless males. Not that Sheldon would admit that Tupperware was outside his area of expertise. By the time we finally purchased our gift, all the salespeople we talked to had mysteriously gone on break, never to be seen again in retail.

Anyway, we both scheduled off work using vacation time so we could have a prolonged stay in Texas. I used those few weeks before our visit to slowly condition Sheldon to receiving affection. He used those weeks to establish boundaries: I could hold his hand when we went to the movies (left hand only, and not until he finished his popcorn) and never in the car. I tried to convince him that I could drive the car perfectly fine with only one hand, but I suppose nearly running over a stop sign during our argument didn’t help my case.

For the most part, our relationship was going pretty well, except for the time I got a little carried away and tried to jump him before breakfast. Sheldon passed a ‘no surprise snogging’ rule at the roommates’ meeting that week, 1 – 0. We were finding our groove, though, and Sheldon was adjusting to the changes in our routine. I suspected that he even looked forward to the small displays of fondness he allowed me.

Which is why I felt bad for what I was about to say.

“Hey Sheldon,” I called out, rapping my knuckles against his open door. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” He glances up at me but doesn’t cease his painstaking folding of his socks.

“What is it, Leonard?”

“Listen, I wanted to discuss how we’re going to handle…us. When we visit your family,” I elaborate when he gives me a blank look. This causes him to pause, footwear momentarily forgotten.

“What do you mean?”

“Considering your family’s religious afflictions…I just don’t think it’s a good idea to broadcast our relationship quite yet. This is about Missy, and we don’t want to take away from that, alright?”

“What does our relationship have to do with my sister?” Sheldon was incredulous. Clearly, it was going to take more explanation than I thought.

“Sheldon…,” I was grasping for straws, but it appeared that I was just going to have to come out and say it. “Some Christians don’t approve of homosexual relationships, and if your mother finds out about us, then she could get upset, and no one would be happy for Missy’s engagement because they’d be too busy praying for your soul!”

“The entire church congregation would pray for your soul as well, Leonard. Especially when they find out that it was you who initiated the physical relationship. Just to be clear, though, are you saying that you want me to lie?”

“Well..nooo…not lie, per se. It’s more like…not disclosing information,” I hedge, knowing fully well that my partner was unable to keep a secret. Sheldon does not look pleased; in fact, he looks downright indignant.

“Your argument is surprisingly valid…but I’m not aware of any measures we can take to prevent our relationship from becoming known,” Sheldon states finally.

“You’re over thinking it, buddy. All we have to do is not engage in any intimate physical actions, like kissing or holding hands or…you know, sex,” I explain. He looks thoughtful, and suddenly I don’t know whether I want him to accept my proposal or reject it. But after a moment, he nods, and carefully places the stack of socks in his suitcase.

“Agreed. In order to prepare us for the parameters of this situation, however, I suggest that we sleep in separate beds tonight,” he replies.

I open my mouth to protest, but he shoots me a haughty look, daring me to disagree with his unflawed logic.

“Not fair…are you trying to tease me?” I mutter. Something akin to amusement flickers briefly in his eyes before the normal Sheldon is back, methodically attacking his underwear drawer now.

“Fine then…I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow,” I say, managing to grab Sheldon’s arm on his way back to the suitcase, gently tugging him closer.

“I doubt it. The sun doesn’t rise until 7:24 a.m. Unless you’re referring to the fluorescent lighting. Either way, the most absolute statement you can make is that you’ll see me early in the morning, and we both know time is relative” he retorts, eyeballing me even as I leaned upwards. Instead of replying, I press my lips against his, gently nibbling on his lower lip until they parted, allowing my tongue to venture in and caresses his own wet muscle. Not letting go until I heard/felt him moan, I couldn’t hold back a smirk as we broke apart.

“Well then. Good night, Sheldor,” I call out cheerfully as I retreated to my own room, leaving my roused partner standing there tightly clutching his stack of briefs.

Yes, it was evil, but dang it, I was having to sleep alone tonight, and for the next five days. It wasn’t really about the sex, although that would have been nice. Reallly nice. No, it was about being together. Comfort. Even if it meant being woken up at two a.m. and informed that I was hogging more than my share of the blankets and occupying sixty-five percent of the bed. But I guess I was going to have to put up with sleeping by myself again for a while. With that thought, I changed into my sleepwear and shuffled to the bathroom, only to meet Sheldon brushing his teeth with feverish intensity. Patiently, I leaned against the doorframe, waiting for his routine hygiene checks to be over. Eyeing me in the mirror, Sheldon took his own sweet time rinsing and placing his toothbrush back under the UV light.

“No cooties?” I couldn’t stop myself. Pursing his lips, he held up the bottle of antigingivitis rinse. “Kills 99.9 percent of germs, Leonard; the probability of your germs surviving is slim to none.”

“Hey…minty. I like that,” I murmur huskily. His blue eyes widen, and the next thing I know, he’s sprinting past me and down the hall.

I laughed all the way back to my room.

Sleep came easily that night, although I was plagued by gnawing doubts about our upcoming visit. The alarm was set for 5 a.m., and I’m proud to say I only hit the snooze button once. If Sheldon had been in the bed with me, I would have been forced awake the first time; that was my argument if he gave me any lip about ‘sleeping in’.

Venturing into the kitchen, I poured myself a bowl of cereal and went to take my customary seat in the chair. Already halfway through his own bowl, Sheldon tilts his head up as I approach, allowing me to bestow a morning kiss to his temple. That right there? Progress.

“Excited?”

“As well as can be expected, considering we’re going back in time to the land of dial-up internet and Pro-Creationist ideals,” he retorts. I decide not to comment further, and we finish our breakfast in comfortable silence.

It doesn’t take long for us to clean up and grab our packed bags, and by 5:45, we were headed out the door. Ironically enough, so was Penny. Or who I assumed was Penny, because the untidy female standing before us bore a look of unconcealed revulsion on her face as she swilled coffee from her mug and fought to lock her door.

“Damn freaking manager, calling a freaking staff meeting at six-freaking-o’clock on a damn Monday!” Penny growled. Startled, Sheldon eyed Penny, then me. As if I was going to say anything to bring her focus onto our eavesdropping presence… That girl was one sip of coffee away from transmuting into She-Hulk.

Finally turning around to head down the stairs, Penny jumped in surprise when she saw us standing awkwardly by the stairwell. “Oh! Damn…you guys scared me…”

“The feeling’s mutual,” Sheldon mutters disdainfully.

“Umm..yeah. Sorry about your meeting,” I answered.

“You guys are going to Texas, right?” Penny asks, joining us as we made our way down the stairs. When we nod, she lets out a little sigh.

“Lucky bastards…Eat lots of steak for me!”

“Ooooh, I sincerely hope not,” Sheldon retorts. “Red meat contains high levels of phosphorus, which is a leading cause of high blood pressure. Being lactose intolerant, Leonard’s calcium levels are already low, which is another dangerous factor. If he eats too much steak, he could easily succumb to high blood pressure, which prevents optimal blood flow to the penis, which makes it difficult to achieve an erection. There’s also the possibility of having a heart attack during coitus, both of which would be less than ideal situations.”

I have no idea how Penny reacted to this explanation, because I’m dragging Sheldon-suitcases and all- out the door and to the car in record time. We may have left some burn marks on the sidewalk, but I’m not looking backwards to check.

After throwing our luggage into the backseat, I turn to face Sheldon, but he’s already seated and buckled up in the car. Following suit, I climb into the driver’s side, cranking the car and maneuvering out of the parking space.

“You appear flustered,” Sheldon commented blandly once we were on the road.

“Of course I’m flustered! You all but admitted to Penny that we’re in a sexual relationship!”

Thinking back over his words, Sheldon shakes his head. “No, I never inferred that I was your sexual partner. I only mentioned you, and the comments could be taken in general. Besides,” he continues, “I doubt Penny is intelligent enough to pick up on it.”

His answer was met with silence, and he let the conversation go for a couple of blocks.

“Even if Penny did reach the conclusion that we were in a physical relationship, I don’t see the problem. She has displayed no objections to homosexual relationships, and at least now she’ll know that you are not available for coitus,” he spoke up suddenly.

There is something about his wording that makes me frown, and I steal a glance at him. Predictably, he’s staring straight ahead, but there’s a certain tenseness in his jaw that causes me to pick my next words carefully.

“Sheldon…even under the very slim chances that Penny would ever be attracted to me again…I wouldn’t just…I wouldn’t sleep with her, ok? Not when I’m in a relationship with you…”

He gives a little sniff, as if he sincerely doubts my words. I would love to say that it didn’t sting, but it did. Deeply. At that point, we were pulling into the train station, so all I could do was give him a look as I put the car into park.

“We’ll talk about this later,” I state firmly. He wasn’t about to get off the hook on this one. Sheldon didn’t protest, probably assuming that he had crossed a line.

Retrieving my bag out of the backseat, I fell in step with him as we made our way to the ticket office. It wasn’t very crowded at 6:15 a.m., so we were able to easily maneuver around the platform.

“There’s our train!” Sheldon calls out, pointing at the locomotive with almost childish enthusiasm. His happiness is somewhat contagious, and I smile at his antics in spite of my lackluster anticipation. Let it never be said that I don’t do anything for Sheldon, either as a partner or as a friend, because taking a thirty-two hour train ride from one state to another is a grueling test of love for any couple. We couldn’t actually take the train all the way to his hometown, so our travel plans had to be broken up into sections: we would take the Sunset Limited from Pasadena to Houston, Texas and then catch an early flight from Houston to our final destination, Galveston, the next day.

This was part of a rare and extensive compromising session; Sheldon bought the train tickets for the way there, and I bought the airline tickets home.

The train was scheduled to leave at 6:45, so we had plenty of times to pick our seats. Or rather, for Sheldon to pick our seats. We had tickets for the sleeper car, but the compartment was so small, we would be spending our waking moments in the regular passenger car so we could watch the world roll by. That desire lasted approximately thirty-seven minutes once the train set off; soon we both had our phones, laptops, and portable game systems out to occupy us.

After Sheldon beat me at Mortal Kombat, 12 – 7, I decided it was time to bring up our earlier conversation. Carefully packing my game console back in the bag, I turned to face Sheldon. Perhaps guessing (knowing) what I was about to bring up, Sheldon had a sudden fascination with his game. I had seen him turn it off earlier, however, and reached out to force it down on the table.

“Ready to talk?”

“Hardly, but based on previous experience, you’re going to discuss whatever is on your mind anyway.” Sheldon doesn’t look at ease, but meets my gaze steadily.

“Here’s the thing, Sheldon. When we were talking about Penny earlier, I got the impression that you have some doubts about our relationship.”

“This is the first time we’ve discussed the longevity aspect of our physical relationship,” Sheldon points out. “I certainly have no facts on the matter.”

“Okaaay….let me give you some facts, then.” I know that, somehow, I was going to have to word things so that Sheldon would comprehend my meaning and accept the metaphor.

“As far as I’m concerned, I want this relationship to last indefinitely. I’m not an open shell anymore. I don’t have any more free valence electrons, ok, Sheldon? Covalent bond. You and me. Got it?”

“What happens when those electrons are heated? Depending on how much pressure is exerted, it’s possible to break covalent bonds.” His eyes are curious, but I see no fear in them.

“It’s possible, yes. But it takes a lot of energy to break those bonds…Look, we’re going to fight and we’re going to disagree. But just like when we were just friends, we’re going to have to work those differences out. You know, talk to each other and try to compromise.”

“By compromise, you mean ceasing whatever I’m doing that you deem inappropriate.” Sheldon narrows his eyes.

“Nooo…only the socially inappropriate things, buddy.” I smile. “We’ll both have to compromise, alright? Just like we did with our travel plans. But how do you feel about our relationship? Is it satisfactory? You don’t…like anyone else, do you?”

“Excuse me? How could you ever entertain the notion that I would seek another mate? That’s absurd,” he replied. Happy that we had found common ground, I leaned against the cool window pane and let out a sigh of relief.

“Do you know how long it would take to train a new roommate?” Sheldon continues. “I’ve got a lot of time invested in you, Leonard. Besides, sleeping with multiple partners increases your chance of contracting sexually transmitted infections.”

With a groan, I let the conversation drop, and Sheldon happily went back to his game until dinnertime. There was nothing to watch roll by as we finished our food; darkness cloaked the train, broken up occasionally by small town lights every few miles.

“Come on, let’s go back to our sleeping compartment.” Sheldon looks up at my suggestion, brow furrowing.

“But it’s not my bedtime. There’s also the size of the compartment to take into consideration; the less time you spend in there, the less likely you are to become claustrophobic.”

“I’m not going to get claustrophobic!” I protest, helping him gather his stuff. “Besides, we can…play.” I had missed him last night and I was determined to make up for it.

“I don’t know of any games we can play in the dark,” Sheldon objects, tugging his bag over his shoulder. Nevertheless, he follows me through the cars until we reach our designated room. To be honest, I had forgotten how small it was, but I wasn’t about to admit it.

Once inside with the door locked, the bags were stashed under the bed. Taking his cue from me, Sheldon began to undress, pulling off layers of shirts. Watching in amusement as he carefully folded each article of clothing, I scooted closer to him, turning him around before he could reach for his pajama shirt.

“Let me help you with that,” I murmur, reaching out to tug his hands away from his pants.

“Why would I require help?” Sheldon queries, brows drawn in a thoughtful stare. Snorting, I unfasten the button, letting my hand rest against his crotch. As comprehension dawns, his mouth puckers in a little ‘o’, and I take advantage of his surprise, capturing his lips in a kiss. With a grunt, Sheldon leans back, but in the small room, he had nowhere to move.

“I thought we were concealing our relationship, Leonard,” he says, but glances down at my hand.

“We’re not at your mother’s house yet, Sheldon. But if you don’t want this…” I reply smoothly, unzipping the pesky fabric and letting it heap on the floor, “…I can stop.” His body contradicted his hesitation, arousal already apparent though his briefs. Giving him a second to think about it, I remove the rest of my clothes. Turning back to face Sheldon, I could see he had given in even before he spoke.

“I suppose sexual intercourse is inevitable; I don’t know how either of us could sleep now that we’ve been stimulated,” he remarks. Sheldon suddenly smiles, a devious little smirk that travels down my spine and leaves me breathless. These are the moments that make everything worth it, when Sheldon trusts me enough to leave the innate scientist in him behind a little and allow his very human emotions to surface, these affectionate little moments where I’m reassured that there are indeed two human beings in this relationship.

I was brought out of my thoughts as Sheldon’s lips pressed against mine, his tongue demanding entrance. I yield to his wish, holding back a moan as his moist organ took advantage, lapping against my teeth and caressing everything in its path.

I was enjoying the taste of him when he suddenly pressed against me, forcing me down on the bed and rolling me over on my back. I was surprised; in our relatively few sexual interactions, Sheldon had never initiated or taken the lead. I don’t know whether he was reacting to our earlier conversation or if he simply felt comfortable sexually now, but his sudden possessiveness and dominance was arousing.

“Leonard….” He moans my name with a hiss as we break for air, his hips thrusting against mine. He had somehow lost his briefs; the friction feels so damn good, and I can’t help the elated shout that escapes from my mouth. Sheldon’s head tilts as he studies my reaction, rolling his hips again and again, causing me to squirm in pleasure as our cocks made contact with warm skin.

“Your fault!” I gasp out, knowing fully well that he was mentally evaluating my behavior.

“I know,” he replies smugly, and suddenly ceases the rhythmic grinding. Whimpering at the loss, I started to sit up, only to be stopped as teeth nipped at the sensitive spot between neck and shoulder.

“ _Sheldon!_ ”

He was all over, hands and tongue exploring skin with a methodical purpose only a scientist could perform. I did my best to return the favor, hands brushing against his back. He pulls away slightly, hovering over me, and I take advantage of his position, leaning up to lap at a rosy nipple until it was a firm bud underneath my touch. Sheldon grunts, and I can feel his erection twitch against my thigh.

“Down, Leonard,” he commands, returning to his original quest of tasting everything in sight. Or so I thought, until his lapping tongue darted up my thigh, only to venture away from my balls.

“I am not putting your penis in my mouth, Leonard,” Sheldon stated firmly, eyeing down at me. I had to laugh, whether from the absurdness that we were having this conversation or at the loss, I don’t know which.

“You’ve licked most of my entire body, Sheldon! With your _tongue_!”

“Yes, but not organs involved in excretory functions,” he retorts. I roll my eyes at him and reach for the hand on my hip, gently guiding his digits around my heated member. Memory seems to kick in, and he slowly begins to move his firm grip up and down. Lost in the feeling, I didn’t see him lean over the bed for something in the suitcase as much as I felt him do so. It also didn’t register in my brain what he was doing when I felt him spread me. Then suddenly something brushed against my ass, and I couldn’t hold back a moan of pleasure. The pressure increased, Sheldon’s lubed finger slipping inside, and I was torn between the resulting pain and need. Withdrawing and thrusting his slick digit deep inside, Sheldon added a second finger, working patiently to stretch me.

“It’s amazing what sexual stimulation does to your vocabulary, Leonard,” he remarked after a particularly loud cry. I can only gasp out his name in encouragement. How had he known that I had packed the lube anyway?

I’ve never felt so vulnerable, but it was a good kind of exposed, because Sheldon looked so damn…hungry. For me.

“Leonard, you need to relax. You’re much too tight for penetration,” Sheldon admonishes. The realization of what was about to happen came crashing down on me. I might have said something, because Sheldon looked up from what he was doing, studying me intensely.

The fingers withdrew and before I could react, Sheldon’s cock pressed against me. Breath hitching, I stared up at him, feeling his desire. Although his cock was throbbing with need, muscles quivering as he braced himself over me, Sheldon waited for my approval, returning my gaze that no one could ever classify as anything but lovingly. I could give myself to this Sheldon, just as I had given into every quirk and aspect that made up Sheldon Lee Cooper.

“Go on! Fuck me, Sheldon!” I half growl, pulling him closer, wanting to feel all of him inside me.

“Interesting choice of words,” he returns, condescension thick in his voice. His hips thrust, sliding partly inside. My world narrows even further, concentrating solely on the brilliant man inside me, wanting more, wanting all of him, every last little bit.

We find our rhythm easily; it feels like the same rhythm we normally have, except Sheldon is on top this time, and god, I never knew that it could feel this good.

“S-Sheldoon…” The edge was looming closer, with each thrust bringing us both closer to that stupefying brink. He’s calling my name too, in small little whimpers, and then all it takes is once last brush against my prostrate and I’m gone.

As the aftermath of the orgasm began to subside, I realize that Sheldon had somehow managed to not only slide out of me but made it to the bathroom without disturbing me. The cramped bathroom door was still ajar, and I could see his naked backside perfectly. Sheldon was presumably cleaning himself up or brushing his teeth, and I was touched when he retrieved a cloth for me, making his way back to the bed to hand it over.

After cleaning myself up to his satisfaction, I tossed the cloth into the trashcan before scooting over on the bed to make room for him. Sheldon deftly climbed under the covers after pulling off the dirty top layer, positioning himself flat on his back.

“It’s a good thing you’re a homunculus. I doubt this bed could support two normal-sized males,” he remarked. I turned my head towards him and huffed into an ear.

“I love you too, Sheldon…” Startled, he turned to face me; I couldn’t help but smile at his expression. This little statement was met with silence, but I wasn’t bothered. Sheldon didn’t really need to say it as much as he needed to hear it.

“Leonard? Would you rate this sexual encounter as satisfactory?” Sheldon inquired suddenly. I chuckle, opening my eyes to stare vaguely in his direction, for I had taken off my glasses a few minutes before. “Oh yeah…amazingly satisfactory…beyond satisfactory.”

“How coul--” he starts to reply, but I cut him off with a quick kiss.

“Shh…shh, babe,” I soothe. “Just go to sleep…” The clickety-clack of the rails, combined with our gratifying sexual activity, was already lulling me into a drowsy state. Sheldon shifted, drawing the covers closer to his body.

“Good night, Leonard…”

\-----------

After thirty-two hours on a train, nine hours at a hotel, two hours in the airport terminal, an hour and a half on the plane, and seventeen minutes in a cab, I have never been happier to see the door to Mrs. Cooper’s house. Some people may argue that getting there is half the fun, but I have a very different opinion on the matter. Traveling was tiring; traveling with Sheldon was exhausting. So when we finally stood on the white-washed doorstep, I was mentally jumping for joy, because it meant that the main reason for our vacation was almost over.

“Come in, come in!” Mrs. Cooper’s excited voice floated through the door as Sheldon knocked. “Oh, I’m so happy you could make it. You too, Leonard,” she added, giving Sheldon then me an enthusiastic hug. Delicious smells wafted from the kitchen, and it made my stomach rumble. We hadn’t eaten much that day due to Sheldon’s paranoia about airport personnel touching his food.

“Dinner’s almost ready! Missy and Mason should be here soon,” Mrs. Cooper continued. Sheldon and I exchanged an amused look. Missy fiancé’s name was Mason? Missy and Mason…that sounded so…sickeningly like a couple.

We didn’t have to wait long for the arrival of said couple; in fact, we had just ventured into the living room with our suitcases when the door burst open once again. I turned back to see the source of the sudden laughter filling the air, when Missy suddenly pounced on Sheldon.

“You’re really here! You know, I told Mom I wouldn’t believe you were coming until I saw you standing here in front of me!” Missy beamed. She looked even prettier than the last time I saw her. “Leonard! What a surprise. Did you two have a good…flight?”

“The train ride was excellent; the airline industry must design their seating arrangement for maximum discomfort, however,” Sheldon replied, taking a step away from his overly cheerful sister.

“Uh-huh. Hey guys, I want you to meet Mason!” Missy plowed on, not even half-hearing Sheldon’s reply. We all turned to see the figure still standing awkwardly in the doorway.

Mason was tall, taller than Sheldon by a few inches, but with a more muscular build. With thick sandy hair and dark eyes, he had a cheerful attitude about him. As Missy addressed him, he crossed the threshold with poise, offering his hand out to Sheldon.

“Hi there! It’s nice to finally meet you,” Mason greeted Sheldon. His Texan drawl was noticeable, but not too thick.

Sheldon eyed the extended limb with distaste, but hesitantly returned the handshake after Missy glared.

“Hello…I would return the sentiments, but I’ve only known about you for approximately three weeks,” he replied. Mason’s bright smile wavered slightly.

As a species, humans are adaptable. Actually, all creatures need to adapt or evolve in new situations in order to survive. Sheldon does not adapt willingly, nor do people adapt to Sheldon swiftly. Just like a goldfish you have to let float around in the new lake inside the safety of its wrapper, you have to introduce new friends in public places, such as in a cafeteria or comic book store rather than inviting them over to his domain. Just like a goldfish, I might have killed my friends if I had introduced them to all that is Sheldon in one go. I’ve used this metaphor before in regards to Sheldon, but it’s very relevant.

Poor Mason Patterson was about to be dumped straight from the bag into the lake.

“I hear you’re a scientist,” Mason’s voice remained cheerful in spite of the questionable snub. I can see Sheldon’s self-righteousness rearing its head.

“I’m not one of those manual laborers holed up all day doing repetitive experiments like Leonard; I’m a theoretical physicist.”

“Haha...well, Mason works at a veterinarian’s office,” Missy interjects, smiling up at her fiancé.

“I hardly think you need a college education to clean up animal waste,” was Sheldon’s only remark. I wince. If only one could purchase tact at a department store…

Mason clears his throat. “Actually, I’m the veterinarian’s assistant. I assist with all the surgeries and handle the medicine. In a few years, the head vet should retire, and I’m hoping to take over the business.”

Mrs. Cooper’s voice interrupted any reply Sheldon was about to make, calling us into the kitchen. That woman had damn good timing.

“Oh, just leave your stuff there, Leonard. It’s fine,” Missy says after perceiving my hesitation. I hated to just leave the bags sitting there by the couch, but I didn’t want to bring up sleeping arrangements either. Obediently following the rest of the crowd into the dining area, I took my seat beside Sheldon at the long table. Mason sat down across from me, and Missy across from Sheldon. The twins began to dish out the meat, mashed potatoes, and beans into their plates, and us boyfriends followed their lead. Of course, only one of us could claim that title out loud, but who’s arguing?

If I had thought the food smelled good, it was nothing compared to the sight of it. Picking up the fork that was beside the plate, I speared a piece of the brown-crusted chicken. A thought suddenly tingled in the back of my mind, and I hesitated, staring down at the meat.

“This is…chicken, right?” I could only remember too vividly Sheldon’s description of deep-fried meat that wasn’t necessarily what it seemed.

“Of course, sweetie. But, _ahem_! We say grace before we eat,” Mrs. Cooper chided. I dropped the chicken back in my plate guiltily. Great. I hadn’t even been in the house thirty minutes and I’d already messed up. Sheldon shot me a derisive look clearly signifying his opinion on the matter, but it didn’t make me feel any better.

I didn’t feel any better a moment later when Mrs. Cooper reached for Missy and Sheldon’s hand, head bowing in preparation for grace. Missy had clutched Mason’s hand, but Sheldon didn’t offer me his hand. Instead, it was Mason who reached out to complete the circle. As odd as this tradition was to me, I couldn’t risk insulting Mrs. Cooper again, so I reached out, awkwardly taking Mason’s hand. It felt strange holding another man’s hand that wasn’t Sheldon’s. The rough, calloused hands weren’t what I was used to and I strangely felt like I was cheating. My right hand darted to Sheldon’s lap, pulling his palm away from his napkin and lacing my fingers with his. Everyone else’s eyes were closed as Mrs. Cooper recited the blessing, but Sheldon’s wide eyes stared back at me. I knew he was remembering our talk about public displays of affection in front of his family, but this was different. Totally, totally different. As soon as the blessing was over, I quickly dropped both Mason and Sheldon’s hand, and willed my ears to stop burning.

Dinner was a rather long affair, the talk revolving around sick animals, what time Memaw was to visit the next day, and football scores. Sheldon and I stayed pretty quiet throughout the conversation, as neither of us could contribute to sports talk or the latest veterinary practices. Well, Sheldon could, but I couldn’t. At one point, I borrowed Sheldon’s phone to twitter news of our arrival since I had left my phone in my jacket in the living room with our stuff. Once the dishes were finally washed and put away, it was approaching eleven, and it soon became apparent that there were not enough bedrooms in the house for all us visitors.

“Let’s see, how is this going to work? Mason, you can sleep in the guest room, and Leonard, sweetie,…is it ok if you sleep on the couch?” Although posed as a question, Mrs. Cooper’s voice left no room for argument or suggestions that the engaged couple could both sleep in Missy’s room. Missy’s lips pursed, but she didn’t offer any verbal protest; Mason just looked a little frightened and nodded enthusiastically at the suggestion.

“Oh…sure, yeah...that’s perfectly fine. As long as there’s a blanket and a pillow, I’m ok, haha…” I reply, nervously adjusting my glasses. I try my hardest not to look at Sheldon, but I can see his body standing tensely in the corner of my eye.

“Don’t be silly, Leonard. There’s no reason why Sheldon can’t share his bed,” Missy finally speaks up, giving my partner the evil eye; you know, the one that says, ‘Be nice or else I’ll shove your head down the toilet.’ I think she’s had a lot of practice with that look. And unfortunately for Sheldon, following through with the threat…

Sheldon just stood there, glancing between his sister and me. As badly as I wanted to say yes, I knew we couldn’t risk it. Simply being Sheldon’s best friend did not give me the excuse of sharing the same bed when surrounded by the very people that knew him and his idiosyncrasies the best. That, and the fact that I might forget where we were and would therefore be sorely tempted to jump him in the middle of the night.

“No, no…no one can be in his bedroom…” I remind them with an uneasy chuckle. “The couch is fine, thank you.”

Satisfied that the sleeping arrangements were made, Mrs. Cooper turned to Mason, motioning for him to follow her down the hall. Missy rolled her eyes at us before proceeding up the stairs. Left alone with Sheldon at last, I could only stare at the bare couch. It really didn’t look all that comfortable.

“Here is a blanket and pillow,” Sheldon offers out the equipment—a quilted blue pillow and a matching handmade blanket. “The climate’s fairly stable around here, so you should be just fine with one blanket. The bathroom is the second door on the right.” I nod, taking the proffered fabric gratefully.

“Well….good night,” Sheldon says, still standing by awkwardly as if waiting for something. I give him a small smile, knowing perfectly well that he wanted his kiss, but also knowing that we couldn’t risk it with his mother poised to come back through the room any second.

“Good night, melamin,” I reply. Shooting me a surprised look, Sheldon hesitated then motioned towards my lower region.

“Are you going to keep my phone?”

“Oh…right. Sorry, here,” I fumble in my pants pocket, handing the device over. So it hadn’t been a kiss that he had wanted after all. Maybe mother was right; I was just too needy for attention.

“Thank you. Quel kaima,” Sheldon matched my use of Elvish, but didn’t bother to include any affectionate terms. Not that I could see him doing so in any language.

Once Sheldon was safely up the stairs and the house quiet, I changed for bed in the small flower-patterned bathroom. A second look at the couch proved to be no less inviting, but I flopped down on the makeshift bed anyway. Turning out the lamp light and curling under the homemade blanket, I longed for the hotel bed we had shared the night before. Sleep came fitfully, and I was roused early the next morning first by clanging pans and then by the low murmur of voices. I reached for my glasses and checked my phone. Sure enough, it was right on time for my partner’s immovable breakfast schedule.

Sheldon shuffled over to where I lay, carefully balancing his plate of steaming eggs and eating utensils. I draw my knees closer to my chest, effectively removing my feet from Sheldon’s spot. Just like at home, he plants his ass down on the left side of the couch, placidly turning the TV on to Doctor Who and begins to dig into his breakfast. It’s only after I sit up does he greet me with a cheerful (for him) ‘good morning’.

“You should try the eggs. They’re currently cooled to the right temperature, and I told Mom not to use cheese so you wouldn’t embarrass yourself by passing toxic gas,” Sheldon continues, eyes never leaving the TV. Leaning over, I bumped his shoulder, drawing his attention away from the program. Wordlessly, I open my mouth, staring pointedly at his plate. Looking horrified, Sheldon stares at me, fork posed halfway to his own mouth. I couldn’t help but snicker at him. I know he would never share his food with me, let alone feed me using the same utensil he had put in his mouth. It was just too damn easy to tease him, though.

“Fine, then. I’ll go get my own,” I mutter playfully, but it’s all lost on him, and I can feel his eyes boring into my back as I get up from the couch.

I have to admit, the eggs were good. There must be something about the South that makes the food taste better.

After changing out of my sleepwear into the day’s clothes, Missy ambushed me as I stepped out of the bathroom. Sheldon had already changed and was a few steps behind Missy, wearing a petulant expression.

“Alright! Come on, Leonard, I’m going to try on my dress.” Missy grabs my arm and tugs Sheldon and me down the hall. “I’m dying to show someone else, and it’s bad luck if Mason sees it before the wedding,” Missy rattles on.

“I would assume this situation calls for female friends,” Sheldon grumbles.

“Don’t be silly, I already showed them!” Missy replies, shutting the door to the guest room once we were all inside. “Mom’s been holding the dress for me, and I about died when she told Mason to sleep in here last night. Thank god she moved the dress up to my room so he didn’t find it. Stay right here, I’ll go get it on!” With that, Missy disappeared into the adjoining room.

“I sincerely hope this only happens once,” Sheldon mutters darkly. I snort and raise a brow at him.

“What? Missy getting married?” He nods. “Well…they both seem pretty happy. Looks like they’ve found their t’hy’la.”

“I don’t object to that. I object to the social convention that allows them to flaunt it and drain the rest of us from our senses, time, and money.”

Before I had a chance to reply to this, the door swung open and Missy descended in a cloud of billowy white fabric.

“What do you think?” Missy was beaming, gathering the folds of her gown and giving it a little swirl. “About the dress, I mean. Obviously, my hair’s going to be done up and I’m getting Laura to do my makeup since she’s a professional and all.”

“It’s beautiful,” I say, sincerely. She really does look great. The floor-length dress was decorated with lace and other girly aspects I can’t quite describe. Missy flashes me a pleased smile, but her anticipating eyes revert back to her brother.

“Traditionally women who wear white are virgins,” Sheldon states stiffly, and I wince, seeing anger and disappointment cloud her eyes.

“But it appears that you got your fourth grade wish after all,” he continues, eyeing the dress with a critical eye. I don’t get that last bit of his response, but Missy must because she threw her arms around Sheldon, hugging him tightly.

“You remember!” Missy’s eyes were watering. Damn. Getting married must make females emotional.

“Of course I do,” Sheldon replied uneasily, awkwardly giving his sister a single pat on the back. “It was the highlight of your academic career.” Rolling his eyes towards me, Sheldon must have picked up on my bewildered expression.

“Missy designed a wedding dress and won first place in an art contest,” he explained. “Let it be noted that all the other entries consisted of stick dogs and play-doh handprints. You can hardly consider that a victory, but Missy boasted about that contest for months. You would have thought she won a Nobel Prize!” Sheldon looked disdainful, but there was no way I could be that rude.

“Oh, that’s interesting. Well, congrats, Missy.” Two pairs of intense blue eyes turn to stare at me, one unimpressed, one congenial.

“Leonard, may I have a word with my brother? Alone?” Missy tugs at her dress, brushing off invisible lint.

“Sure, I’ll just…be, um…out here,” I reply, getting up out of the seat. I flash Sheldon a sympathetic look before escaping into the hallway, carefully closing the door behind me. I honestly had no idea what Missy was going to discuss with Sheldon; I didn’t think he’d been home long enough to get into trouble yet. Perhaps she had overheard Sheldon’s remarks about weddings, but that seemed unlikely.

Not wanting to be accused of eavesdropping, I wander down the hall, not knowing exactly where to go. The sound of voices reached my ears, and I followed the conversation back to the living room.

Mrs. Cooper and Mason were seated on the couch, bent over some sort of book. A second glance revealed the books to be photo albums.

“Oh, Leonard! I was just showing Mason some family photos. Come look!” Mrs. Cooper’s voice was inviting, but still I hesitated, not wanting to get in the middle of mother-in-law / son-in-law meeting time. But Mason looks up too, flashing me a welcoming smile.

“Oh, ok. I’d love to see them,” I answer. As I sit down in the recliner, Mrs. Cooper drops an album in my lap, none-to-gently. The album is thick and heavy, and smells faintly of musty closets.

Thankfully, Mason calls Mrs. Cooper back with a question, leaving me free to browse through the memories without commentation.

Sheldon was not a cute child. Pale and sickly, the pictures capture a miniature version of his current self with only a few differences: eyes too serious, hair a little longer and obviously dressed by his mother. There is something endearing about the pictures, though; he looks so damn…small. As if I could just gather him up in my arms. Flipping through the album and Sheldon’s childhood, I couldn’t help but smile fondly at the scenes laid before my eyes. An unhappy Sheldon dressed for his first football game. The same excited face I see every Wednesday, happily clutching the latest issue of Batman. Sheldon and Missy, surrounded by other screaming children as they blew out birthday candles on a shared cake. Of course, one twin held a fire extinguisher behind his back…

Sheldon had always given me glimpses into his younger years, but having this proof laid out in front of me cemented the hypothesis I’d had about there being equal good and bad moments in his life. Sheldon’s family was so accepting of his quirks, but Sheldon always resented those times when he didn’t get his way or felt misunderstood.

As I turned a page, I caught Mrs. Cooper’s gaze. It was so warm and pitying, that I could feel my face flushing.

“I bet your family doesn’t have anything like this, huh, sweetie?” Mrs. Cooper comes to stand beside my chair, peering over my shoulder. “All them scientists, they probably don’t take very many pictures, I’d imagine.”

“Oh! Well, actually…my dad’s an anthropologist, so he did document my siblings’ and my childhood stages,” I reply. I didn’t add that it had been for a paper comparing the growth development of children across income brackets in America.

The patter of footsteps drew our attention from the conversation as the twins returned, Missy in jeans with Sheldon trailing behind her, typing on his phone.

“What are you guys up to?” Missy calls out cheerfully, going to sit down beside her fiancé. Mason grins at her and slides the album into her lap.

“Aww, mom! Not the naked baby pictures!” Missy protests. Sheldon doesn’t look up from his typing, but manages to maneuver himself over to my chair.

“I don’t understand your objection; is it the naked part or the fact that you were a pudgy baby that concerns you?” Sheldon asks. Missy throws him a disgusted look, which he ignores.

“Hey look, Shelly, here’s the picture of you that time we went to the petting zoo and that llama chased you!” Missy crowed, holding up the album.

At that point, my phone vibrated in my pocket. Curiously checking the display, I discovered that Raj had sent me a text.

 _Is it true??????_

Confused, I pressed reply to send a text back asking him to clarify, but before I could type, another text popped up, this time from Wolowitz.

 _u hooked up w sheldon?! how desperate r u?_

With a sinking feeling, I turned to Sheldon, but he had made his way over to Missy and Mason, lecturing them on the dangers of llama nature or some crap.

“Sheldon? Can I speak with you, alone, please?” In my hand, the phone vibrated and chirped again.

“Certainly,” Sheldon replied smoothly, venturing towards the front door without another word. Missy’s smile grew knowing, and I could feel panic beginning to set in.

“What did you do?!” I hissed once we were both safely outside the house. He had the nerve to look smug.

“First, let me point out that I appreciate you directly demanding information. My sister has a terrible habit of engaging in pointless conversation when she’s trying to get something out of you. Honestly, I don--”

“Sheldon! Focus! What is this!?” I cut him off, waving my phone in his face.

“That’s your iPhone, Leonard. It appears you have a text message. But it occurs to me that you’re referring to your original question…very well. Missy knew about our relationship in spite of our efforts to conceal it. Therefore, I decided there was no reason to hide it anymore and changed my Facebook status accordingly,” he replied matter-of-factly, as if he revealed secret homosexual relationships every day. Or any relationship, for that matter.

With a deep breath, I watched as text after text flooded my inbox, as one by one, the entire CalTech physics department responded to the startling update. Even Stuart the comic book guy texted to express his doubts.

Part of me wanted to chastise Sheldon for publishing such an intimate detail without consulting me. I really would have liked to tell Howard and Raj in person first, but what was done was done. Besides, this was a little…heartwarming, if you will. The fact that Sheldon felt confident enough in our relationship to change his status with no concerns was…mind-blowing. Comforting, too.

When at last the stream of messages ceased, I penned a reply to only a few of the messages. As our best friends, Howard and Raj deserved to know before anyone else in our workplace or other acquaintances.

“What are you doing?” Sheldon suddenly piped up, for once forgetting his strict adherence to privacy and leaning over to read my screen. His azure eyes were watching me warily, so I flashed him a reassuring smile. Now I felt bad for not verbally responding to his surprising statements.

“Logging into Facebook,” I reply cheerfully. First, I went to Sheldon’s page, reading his profile information for myself and giving his update a thumbs up, indicating that I liked his status change. The next stop was my own profile information.

 _Leonard Hofstadter is in a relationship with Sheldon Cooper_.

That felt good.

To quench everyone’s curiosity without having to send a thousand texts, I simply updated my own status, knowing that everyone was probably watching our profiles with hawk eyes right now anyway.

 _Leonard Hofstadter says yes, it’s true._

“There we go,” I say. “It’s official.”

“Woe to couples before the invention of Facebook,” Sheldon deadpans. I chuckle, placing the phone back in my pocket. “You do realize…that if we weren’t standing in front of your mother’s door…I’d kiss the hell out of you for doing this, don’t you?”

Sheldon considered that for a second. “I supposed that’s better than being angry with me.”

“I’m not angry. I’m happy…happy to be here with you,” I reply, giving him a light pat on the shoulder.

“What impact would it have on your happiness level if I told you that I wanted to tell the rest of the family about our relationship?” Sheldon spoke up. My stomach clenched painfully, and I frowned up at him.

“Sheldon…we talked about this.”

“Missy said she’d help us. Her persuasion skills can be surprisingly decent. Although she tends to rattle on, womenfolk do know how to smooth difficult situations with other females,” Sheldon replies.

I took a deep breath and adjusted my glasses. “You…you really want to do this, don’t you? Huh. Actually, I’m surprised you held out this long…”

He doesn’t respond, but looks at me expectantly. At that moment, after all that had happened on our trip, there was no way I could say no to that face. There really wasn’t any way I could prevent him from telling, so I guess I should be happy that he even bothered to discuss the matter with me. Sheldon could have easily pulled what he did with our friends with his family, leaving me the last to find out. I slowly nod my acceptance of the inevitable.

In an ideal world, he would have taken my hand and we would have walked in together and be instantly accepted by his family. This world isn’t perfect, though-- at least mine isn’t.

Instead, my partner turns and makes for the door alone, leaving me to follow him. Sheldon turns his head after a few steps to see if I’m behind him. There’s a slight smile on his lips and in that instant I know that it doesn’t matter how his family receives the news; he’ll never have to face anything alone again.


End file.
